


reaching for the sky

by prosodiical



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M, POV Female Character, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-10 06:25:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4380683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prosodiical/pseuds/prosodiical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jess's normal college life is shaken up when Sam starts acting strange and secretive. That's not to mention the sudden rise in odd deaths on campus and her likable but odd(ly interested in her boyfriend) new friend, Gabriel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	reaching for the sky

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to A for looking over this!
> 
> This is basically a tropey piece of angsty delightful threesome fic that came about because I love time travel from an outsider POV and fell in love with Sam/Gabriel and Sam/Jess/Gabriel thanks to some lovely fics here on AO3 :)
> 
> You can check out lotrspnfangirl's fantastic art for this [here!](http://lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com/49976.html)

"Ugh, enough about him, anyway. I'm sure you're sick of me talking about him forever."

"No," Jess protested, but at her friend Sarah's pointed look she let her smile escape. "Well, maybe a little."

Sarah shook her head, smiling. "So? What about yours? I haven't seen Sam out for a while." She nudged Jess's arm, and Jess felt her mouth wrinkle involuntarily.

"Yeah, something's up," she said with a sigh. "Family trouble, I think." She'd only caught the tail end of Sam's rushed, secretive phone conversation a few days ago, though the name 'Dean' had at least given her some idea of what it was about; Sam had been different since then, strangely lost and distant, though when he saw her he was full of smiles. "He doesn't like talking about it."

"Men," Sarah sighed, and Jess laughed, checking the time and grabbing her bag as she rose to her feet.

"I'll try to drag him out," she promised. "Next Saturday?"

"Saturday," Sarah agreed, already turning back to her books.

Jess had a few books herself to pick up before she went back to her apartment, and she looked them up on the catalogue before walking down the shelves. Sam had texted her while she was chatting, a train of thought more than a conversation, and to his _Glad you're not here, I think my professor's got a degree in making people fall asleep._ she wrote:

_aw, poor arts student :'( its your own fault for picking intro to law!  
i think mine has invented a textbook that doesn't exist, i can't find it anywhere._

She leant back against the shelves, frowning at the lack of space where the book should be; Stanford's system said they had a copy, but apparently not.

_Check the catalogues already?_

_yeah, it's not anywhere :(  
have fun snoozing!  <3_

_I'll dream of you xox_

Jess found herself smiling, the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth, when she was interrupted by a pointed cough. She looked up and stepped aside quickly, saying "Sorry," to the guy standing in front of her, eyebrows raised, one hand on a library trolley.

He shook his head. "It's fine," he said, and an amused smirk played over his mouth as he nodded to her phone. "Boyfriend?"

Jess felt warmth rise to her cheeks and she tucked her phone back in her bag. "Yeah, that obvious?"

"Well, it was that or a girlfriend, didn't want to presume," he said, slyly, and gave Jess a pointed up-and-down look that made her raise her eyebrows right back.

"What?" she said, and it came out a bit defensive; she felt strange, wary and vulnerable.

"Oh, not much," he said, and all of a sudden the intensity was gone. Jess blinked and wondered if she had imagined it. "I'm intimidated already. What are you, six foot?"

"I'm not," Jess said, startled into a laugh, and shook her head, smiling. "You can hardly talk."

The guy gave her an affronted look, put-on. "Hey," he said, "I'm a perfectly average height."

"Sure," Jess said, teasing, "I bet you checked and everything."

He laughed, short and quick. "That's not the only thing I checked," he said, full of innuendo, and Jess didn't bother to hide the hard roll of her eyes.

"God," she said, "that was awful."

"I aim to please," he said, amused. "Speaking of which, I'm guessing you're not just hanging in the shelves to sext your man?"

"No!" Jess said, around a startled laugh. She reached into her bag and tugged out the reference she'd written down. "There's supposed to be... 'Organic Chemistry'?"

"Final year pre-med, right?" he said, and Jess nodded. The guy shrugged. "Yeah, sorry - it's a bug in the system or something, the last one never got returned."

Jess said, "Ugh," and made a face, disappointed. "Thanks."

The guy studied her for a moment. "Well," he said, considering, "I could keep an eye out for you, if you want."

"Would you?" Jess asked, and tried on her best hopeful face, wide eyes and almost a pout. "That'd be great, seriously."

He smiled. "Yeah, okay," he said, "here," and he reached into his pockets pulling out a slip of paper - an old library receipt. "I'll text you if we get it in."

Taking it, Jess rummaged around for a pen and scribbled down her name and number. "This isn't some scheme to get my number, is it?" she asked, feeling his eyes on her, and shot him a curious glance. 

"I'm hurt," he said, with an exaggerated pout. "I'm going out of my way for you, and you're accusing me of ulterior motives?"

"You don't have ulterior motives?" Jess shot back, but handed her number over.

"Well," he said, his mouth sliding into a smirk, "we'll see." He glanced at the slip of paper before tucking it in a pocket, and said, "Jessica, hm? I suppose it suits you."

"It's my name," Jess said. "Now you've got me at an advantage."

He met her expectant gaze; his eyes were a strange color, dark except for a glint of gold. "I suppose I do," he said, and Jess sighed, shouldering her bag and starting to turn away.

"Thanks, anyway," she said, and he said, "It's Gabriel."

She looked back; he was watching her, eyebrows raised. "Then, thanks, Gabriel," she said, and smiled. "I'll owe you."

"And don't you forget it," he called after her, and despite the oddly ominous feeling in her gut Jess found herself walking away with a lingering smile.

* * *

If Jess looked back, she would have been able to pinpoint it to a day. It'd been a long day of classes for her, a stressful biochemistry lab she still wasn't sure she did right, and so it took her a long moment, standing in the doorway to their apartment, to realize Sam was on the phone.

" - you remember? Don't bullshit me!"

Sam sounded, of all things, angry. Jess had never really seen him get mad, not the way her last boyfriend did, spitting and furious to incoherence; Sam instead got calm and quiet and cold, though he'd always shake it off quickly with a smile. Now, though, he sounded at the edge of that, fury more like desperation, and Jess stopped still with her hand on the doorknob, uncertain.

"Yeah? Then tell me - how's Dad?"

Whatever answer he got made Sam's anger dissipate. He started swearing, quietly and with fading vehemence, and Jess let the door shut behind her as she stepped out into view. Sam had the phone down on the counter, his hands over his eyes, and Jess said, "Sorry, am I interrupting?"

Sam startled, like a deer in headlights, and stared at her, looking stunned. "Sam?" she said, bemused, and he said, "J-Jess?"

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned, and Sam shook his head, a smile edging its way onto his mouth.

"Yeah, sorry," he said, and rose to his feet; Jess laughed and nodded toward the phone on the bench.

"I'll let you get back to that," she said, but Sam gave it a look, disgruntled and annoyed, and turned back to her. There was something terrible and soft in his expression, and he said, "It can wait," and Jess gave in to her impulse to walk the few steps forward and into his outstretched arms.

"I love you," Sam said fervently, and Jess sighed into his shoulder.

"Yeah," she said, "me too." She reached out, tangling her fingers in his hair, and tugged him down for a kiss. He met her hesitantly, as though he'd half forgotten how, and she slowly lead him into it, pressing forward until his hands settled on her hips, until she could feel his heart pound in his chest. Jess broke away, pressing her lips to his jaw, and Sam said, "Jess," and she hid her smile in the curve of his neck.

"I'll leave you to it," she repeated, detangling herself and stepping back, her smile a touch mischievous. Sam's face shifted, fondness and amusement to his annoyed face, put-upon, and she gave him a wink that made him break and grin back.

"Fine, fine," he said, and picked up his phone as Jess went to pick up her bag again. She was halfway down the hallway to their room when she heard Sam's voice again, and she lingered back, her curiosity getting the best of her.

" - okay, Dean," Sam was saying, his voice frustrated, tone low. "Whatever - I told you, it's nothing." Jess's mouth twisted in a frown, just as Sam sighed and said, "I'm hanging up. Jerk."

She managed to start pulling out her books by the time Sam came back, and she was still putting her things away for the day when she could feel his gaze on her back. "Everything okay?" she asked, and stacked the reading she still had to do on her side table before turning to give him a questioning look.

Sam was still watching her, with a sheer intensity that took her breath away. "Just enjoying the view," he said, with a smile that made her roll her eyes and bite back her grin.

"You're such a dork," Jess said, and took the few steps forward to tug him down into a kiss. He smiled against her mouth and she bit at his lip, playful, pulling back to say, "And don't think I didn't notice."

"Didn't notice what?" Sam said innocently, and Jess gave him a gentle shove; he followed with it easily, moving until his knees caught on the edge of their bed. Jess toppled him over and he laughed, surprised, as she followed him, on her hands and knees until she could pin his arms above his head with her hands.

"You," she said pointedly, looking down at him fake-sternly, probably ruined by the smile creeping across her face, "didn't answer me at all."

Sam laughed and lifted his head; they bumped noses until she shifted a little and he got the angle right, their mouths sliding together. They kissed slowly, languidly, and by the time they broke apart Jess was feeling a warm curl of arousal that made her sigh. Resting her forehead on his, her hair a curtain around them, Sam's smile matched hers. "Everything's fine," he said, almost breathless with it. "No - everything's perfect."

* * *

But despite that, all of Sam's reassurances and smiles, Jess could see something was wrong. She met him after a lecture for lunch and he looked - not bored, not exactly - but tired, worried, lost. They got caught up by a friend of Sam's from one of his classes, once, and Jess had to scrape at the bottom of her memory for her name. She was pretty sure they'd been introduced at a party once, in a haze of noise and drinking, and once she left Jess nudged Sam's elbow and said, "Tara, right?"

Sam's face suddenly shifted, his plastered-on smile to something confused and distant. "I," he said, and made a face at her, wry. "You know, I've got no idea."

Groaning, Jess punched him lightly in the arm. "Sam," she said, chiding, "that's terrible."

Sam gave her a look then that made her laugh, and she linked their arms together, but it was another point on the list. And it was growing; Sam's almost-confused face at a mention of the LSATs - "But haven't I - " he started, and stopped, shaking his head - and at Jess's casual comment about retaking her MCATs he frowned. “What's your score now?" he said, and he wasn't looking at her anymore, but somewhere off into the distance, as though lost in a memory.

"A 33, but I can probably do better," she said. "Sam?"

"Oh," he said, as though it was a revelation, "you were studying for that for weeks, right?"

"It wasn't that long ago," she said, around a disbelieving laugh. She'd kept Sam up for at least a week before the exam, flashcards and textbooks spread across her side of their bed, until Sam had told her enough was enough and gotten her to stop in the best way - tiring her out through orgasms. Jess remembered it fondly, though she wasn't sure it had the best effect on her test scores; the glint in Sam's eyes now told her he was thinking about it too. "You just remembered?"

"Sorry," he said, "I'm all over the place at the moment," and tugged her into a kiss, intense and messy and wet, and Jess didn't even care they were standing in the middle of the footpath until someone wolf-whistled and yelled at them to get a room. Sam pulled away, his hands splayed across her back falling down to her hips, and Jess sighed and untangled her fingers from his hair. "We probably should," Sam said, and Jess traced his jawline, the slight growth of stubble against her fingertips. "Or..."

"Yeah, no, come on," Jess decided, and they did.

But Sam would still be strange around her, sometimes. He'd often start to say something after a few beers in the evening, or when she found him in the mornings, suddenly subscribed to more newspapers than she knew what to do with and pouring over them with a determined look in his eye, but then stop and give up. Jess'd said in the last two weeks, "You know, you can talk to me," more times than she'd done in her whole life, but whatever it was, he wasn't telling. "It's not like he's cheating on you, it's not that bad," Jess told herself in the mirror, when Sam was away - "Family business," he said, looking properly apologetic, "my brother, you know," and Jess had smiled and pushed him out the door - but she looked at her face and could see the disbelief. "God." She closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. Because he wouldn't be cheating, not Sam, who had to tell her at least once a day how much he loved her - but Jess was still feeling like she was being shut out and left behind.

But there was only so much she could do, and in the end, it was Sam's choice to keep it from her. Jess scowled at herself and made other plans, instead; studying, catching up with friends, and tried to put it out of mind as best she could.

* * *

It was less than a week from that day in the library when Jess got a text from an unknown number, _ur local lib miracle workers got a gift 4 u, free @ 2?_ and Jess had to stare at it for a moment before she remembered.

_thank you!! the cafe near the lib okay?_

She added the number to her contacts as she got a _yep c u then_ , and couldn't help but smile, uplifted; her day felt better already. 

"Is that Sam?" Anita asked quietly, leaning toward her. Jess had been introduced to Anita peripherally; she was rooming with Sarah and doing a straight science load, which meant they shared some classes together, but while it was nice to be paired up with someone she knew Jess wouldn't say they were close friends. They were waiting on an experiment at the moment, stuck in a warm bath for - Jess checked her watch - ten minutes and counting, and everyone on schedule was a little bored. 

"Nah," Jess said, and put her phone away. "Just a friend." Sam's last text to her had been in the morning, double-checking their afternoon, and Jess wondered if Gabriel would still be around when Sam came by; probably not, she thought, though it might be fun. "Are you going to the thing this weekend?"

"Oh," Anita said, and looked away, fiddling with her pen. "No, I don't think so. I - well," she paused, and gave Jess a tight smile. "Do you ever have days that are - just like, really bizarre?"

Starting to shake her head, Jess paused, remembering Sam, and said, "Actually."

Anita's mouth twitched at the corners, and the tension around her eyes softened a little. "Yeah," she said, "I've had one of those weeks. I - I don't know."

"It's a veg out on the couch weekend?" Jess asked, sympathetically, and Anita smiled and said, "Yeah."

Their lab lasted another hour, checking their work against the others and discussing their results, and Jess rubbed at her eyes and pulled out her assigned reading as she settled down in the nearby cafe. She checked her phone a few times - one to send a text to Sam to let him know where she was once he was done with class, another to read his response, a quick _Sure, see you soon xox_ that made her smile, and pulled out her notes and buckled down. She was lost in thought when the chair across from her scraped, and she looked up, surprised.

"Hey," said the guy from the library, sliding into the seat. 

"Hey," she said, "Gabriel, right? Oh, did you want something?" She made a motion toward the counter, but he shook his head.

"Nah," Gabriel said, and quicker than she could object he grabbed her cup, taking a sip. Jess raised her eyebrows as he made a face at it. "Only one sugar?"

"Not enough?" Jess said, feeling her mouth twitch, and he grinned, sly.

"I'm sure you're sweet enough," he said, and Jess bit back her smile. "But I've got something for you - here," and he pulled out a textbook from behind him, placing it on the table with a flourish. "One lovely book for a lovely student, personally delivered."

"Oh, thank you so much," Jess said fervently, and flicked through the pages in a delighted rush before sequestering it away in her bag. "Seriously, let me buy you a coffee or something."

"You're not meeting anyone?"

"You, now," she said. "Um, my boyfriend Sam's coming by later, but he's in class right now."

"Ah, class," said Gabriel, with a put-upon sigh that made her grin. "Well, I've got to run when the hour's up - how much time do we have?"

Jess checked her watch. "Ten minutes?"

"Next time, then," he said, and Jess raised her eyebrows, teasing.

"Who says there'll be a next time?"

"I'm hurt, really," Gabriel said, his mouth twitched into a smirk. "You're the one who owes me, remember?"

"Well," Jess said, "I'm all yours - for ten minutes, anyway. Time's a-ticking."

"So many icebreaker questions, so little time," Gabriel said. Pulling out a chocolate bar, he unwrapped the top and bit off a chuck, chewing it thoughtfully. "Okay, there's one thing I really want to know," he said, leaning forward, expression mischievous. "Your boyfriend - Sam, right? Is he also a giant?"

"Hey!" Jess said, laughing. "I'm not that tall, you're just..."

"I'm just surrounded by giants, you mean," Gabriel said, smirking, and gave her an expectant look.

"Okay, okay," she said with a smile. "Yeah, Sam's pretty tall - over six feet, he towers over me a bit."

"Hm," said Gabriel. "And is he the sort of guy who'll stare me down for flirting with you?"

"Don't you flirt with everyone?" Jess asked, amused.

The corners of Gabriel's mouth rose and he said, "Only the pretty ones."

"Then I'm sure he'll be too busy fending off your advances to notice," Jess said, laughing. "Trust me, he's definitely a pretty one."

"Ooh," Gabriel said, leaning indolently back in his chair. "Tell me more."

"Tall, brown hair, gorgeous hazel eyes," Jess said, and shook her head, smiling. "But mostly he's a perfectly sweet guy under it all, you know? Anyway, I'm pretty sure you didn't come here to listen to me go on."

"What _do_ you think I came here for?" Gabriel said, and when Jess met his gaze there was something strange there, solemn and dark.

"I think," Jess said, careful, feeling heavy under the weight of his regard, "you just wanted a friend."

Gabriel's mouth twitched. "You're cute," he said, amused.

Jess raised her eyes from her cup. "Am I right?" she asked, and the teasing tone she was aiming for fell slightly short of the mark. "I mean..."

"You're something," Gabriel said, which answered nothing at all. He shook his head, raising his eyebrows at her. "Well, must dash - let's do this again sometime," he added, rising to his feet, and between Jess's bemused, "Okay, see you," and the scrape of his chair he was swept up in the leaving rush of students heading to class. Jess frowned at his chair for a long moment, feeling like she'd missed something, and she was still shooting it odd glances two minutes later, textbook open in front of her, when Sam slid into the seat.

"Hey," he said, and she studied him with a smile.

"Hey yourself," she said, flirtatious, and some of the shadows under his eyes seemed to lighten when he smiled. "Finally got away?"

"Brady's all about the LSATs at the moment," he said, with a small roll of his eyes. "Cornered me after class."

Jess said, "But you're not worried about it anymore," and tempered the curiosity in it with a smile. "Like, last week - you were super stressed about it, but now..."

Sam almost winced, she thought; he wore his heart on his sleeve, sometimes, and he looked conflicted now, a storm in his eyes. "Yeah," he said, and leaned forward, elbows on the table, head in his hands. "I don't know," he said, and peered at her through his hair. "I just realized, you know, I'm not actually getting anything out of class - it seems so straightforward, you know?"

"Like you've done it all before?" Jess prompted, and Sam laughed, quick and self-depreciating.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Well," said Jess, "lighten up on the studying? We've had a few invites - we could go out and catch up, go drinking, dancing..." she trailed off. Sam's mouth had twitched but he looked, if anything, more despondent than before. "Sam?"

He looked up and managed a smile. "Yeah, I guess."

"Or we could stay in," Jess said, and reached out, running her fingers along his wrist. "Have a bit of time to ourselves?"

Sam looked at her, and down to her hand on his wrist. He moved his hand, lacing their fingers together, and a reluctant smile tugged at his lips. "Sure," he said, "I'd love to."

Jess ducked her head, feeling her cheeks warm at his sincerity. "Then it's a date."

He smiled at her with a startling warmth. "So," he said, leaning forward, "how was your day?"

"Oh," said Jess, "much worse until now," and smiled at his amused grin. "Well, I..." _met someone I think you'll like_ , she wanted to say, but for some reason the words stuck in her throat. Jess found herself trying to justify it almost immediately, _it's not that important, why would it matter,_ but she rejected the excuses out of hand; so what if it wasn't? But she couldn't seem to say it, her mouth uncooperative, her mind shying away, and in the end she just said, "I found the textbook I was looking for."

"Yeah? Was that all?" Sam said, and Jess studied him, lost in thought.

"Yep," she said, and managed a smile.

* * *

That weekend as according to plan, Jess woke up, languidly stretching across the bed. Sam was an early riser, but Jess took her time getting up, running her fingers through the mess of her hair and picking up one of Sam's shirts off the floor. It was just long enough not to be indecent, and Jess buttoned it up halfway as she opened the curtains, eyeing the bright sun and the buildings outside. Yawning, she rested a hand on the windowsill to make an attempt at opening the window, and then pulled it back with a start - there were crumbs of something, salt or sugar, maybe, embedded in her palm. Jess brushed her hands off, wrapping her arms around herself, and gave the window a skeptical look before she left it be to find her wayward boyfriend.

She didn't have to go far; the door to the spare room was open and she could see the heel of his foot from the door. Padding forward to the doorway, Jess said, "Hey," and raised her eyebrows as Sam startled, shoving a box too hard, all its contents spilling on the floor.

"Wow," Jess said, at the spilled pile of papers and printouts, Sam's handwriting mixed with hers. She'd kept her work from years past on a just-in-case, but now she was regretting it. "Ugh, sorry."

"Hey, no," Sam said, and she could see the moment he properly looked at her, dressed in his clothes, from the way his eyes widened just slightly, the sudden intent look on his face. "It's okay, I'll clear it up later." He took a few steps forward, over the mess, and Jess gave him a flirtatious look from under her eyelashes as his fingers went to the highest button she'd bothered with.

"Later?" Jess teased, and he pressed his smile into her hair. She caught his hands with her own, pulling him forward so she could kiss him. It was familiar and chaste until he deepened it, his mouth hot and wet against hers, and a shiver of arousal curled down her spine. Eventually she reluctantly pulled back, her voice still breathy as she tugged Sam out the door and said, "Come on, I'll make brunch."

As she went to the kitchen, digging through the pantry, Sam leant on the countertop and watched her with an amused look in his eyes. "I think 'brunch' is just an excuse to satisfy your sweet tooth. Pancakes?"

"How'd you guess?" Jess hip-checked the cupboard closed, giving him a grin. "I found some delicious blueberries last weekend - you can't say no." 

Sam laughed. "Yeah," he said, and there was a dangerously soft expression on his face that made Jess's face warm. "I don't think I could."

Pulling out a spoon, Jess stirred the batter she'd tossed together, her heart sinking. "Couldn't you?" she asked, her eyes on the bench. "Sam." She chanced a glance up, and he was frowning, confused, until she said, "I'm not an idiot, you know. What's up with you?"

"There's nothing," he said, and looked away, and she scowled and put her hands on the bench, leaning over.

"There's something," she said firmly. "Seriously, Sam - stop shutting me out."

"I'm," he said, and took a breath, letting it out in a sigh. "I'm sorry. It's just some family stuff that's come up."

"Your phone call with Dean?" Jess asked neutrally, and he met her gaze, searching.

"Yeah," he said. "It's - well, it's not really my place to say, but yeah." He dropped his eyes to his hands, and added, "I can't really talk about it."

Jess searched his expression: the stubborn set to his mouth, the building frown lines on his forehead, and sighed. "Okay," she said, "whatever." She could tell from the look he gave her that he didn't buy it, but she felt a heavy ache in her chest that she didn't know what to do with, anger worn into a restless feeling that made her want to get out and away. "Look," she said with a sigh, turning to pin him with a look, "you don't want to say, fine. But Sam, please stop lying to me."

"I'm not - " he said, and he met her gaze and the corners of his mouth turned down. "I love you," he said, half a plea, and Jess's lips pressed into a frown.

"Yeah," she said, a little softer, "I love you too."

They ate in a protracted, uncomfortable silence, until Sam hesitantly started a conversation about law schools and Jess gave in to comment, fixing the mistakes he was making about stuff they'd talked over months ago. Slowly, the atmosphere lightened, almost back to what Jess would consider normal, if normal was how they'd existed these last few weeks, careful and edged with things unspoken. But her smiles were a little tighter and she sighed in relief when her phone buzzed with a call.

"Hey," she said, escaping to their room, the door shut behind her, "what's up?" Her eyes flicked to the window, the unmade bed, and the pile of her clothes on the floor. She picked them up, tossing them in the laundry hamper as she walked by, and stopped in front of the closet, mentally sorting out an outfit. "Yeah, sure, of course," she said, "no, I'm free. Sure, I'll see you soon." She hung up, thoughtfully frowning at her phone before getting dressed for the day, and by the time she came out Sam was on the phone too, saying, "No, sorry, I don't think - " before he spotted her.

"Hey, I've got to go," he said to his phone, and they studied each other for a moment, Jess curious, Sam's expression unreadable.

"You're going out?" he said. "That was Brady, he wanted to remind me of the thing tonight, but..."

"Yeah, no," Jess said, shaking her head, "I'm just going to lend a textbook to a friend. I guess you didn't want to go?"

Mouth twisting, Sam turned away. "No," he said, "it's just so..." and he sighed, tilting his head at her. "Did you?"

"I haven't been out dancing for a while," Jess said, carefully. "I wouldn't mind. Get out and have some fun before the exams come up, right?" she tried, but Sam was closed off, blank-faced; Jess's mouth pursed and she started turning away.

"Hey," Sam said, and he'd stood up, catching her arm. "If you want to, go. I've got some stuff I need to sort out tonight, too, it's fine."

"Yeah?" Jess studied his face, the crinkled lines of stress around his eyes, and brushed her thumb over the corner of his mouth, turned down in a frown. "If you're sure."

"Go," he said, a smile tugging at his lips, bringing his hand up to cover hers. "Have fun. You've hardly had the chance to lately."

"I guess," Jess said on an exhale, dropping her hand, her fingers tangling with Sam's until she pulled it back to her side. "I'll see you later."

* * *

"You came!" Sarah said, delighted; she looked a little red-cheeked already, but she got that way after only a few. Shoving a drink in Jess's hand, she dragged her by the elbow to the bar. "Hey, where's your totally hotter half?"

"Hey," Jess said, laughing, as Sarah picked up another drink, waggling her eyebrows over the rim. "I'm pretty sure we're equally matched."

Sarah gave her a look, considering, and said, "Nope. Sorry, girl. So?"

"Not feeling up for it, who knows," Jess said, and sighed, taking a sip of her cocktail. It was sweet and fruity, the aftertaste of vodka lingering on her tongue. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Trouble in paradise?" Sarah asked, sympathetic, and Jess shrugged. 

"Whatever, I'm here to enjoy myself."

"Well," Sarah said, "you've got some catching up to do," and waved around. "You've not been out for a while, right?"

Jess hid her sigh into her glass. "No," she said, "but, exams, you know."

"Ugh, don't remind me," Sarah said, rolling her eyes. "You're a four-point-oh, what do you have to worry about?"

"It doesn't come from nowhere," Jess teased, and Sarah laughed.

"Well, I think you missed heaps," Sarah said, and Jess shifted on her seat so she could look out over the floor. The lights were low, the music loud, and Jess let Sarah's, "So, Song broke up with her boyfriend, and I think she and James might have a thing..." fade into half-background noise, keeping an ear out for when she had to agree. It was almost soothing, being back here again, but Jess felt like she was starting to get a little old for it, maybe. Sam didn't really seem like the type anymore, she thought, and she wondered if he was planning on - well. She flushed to even think of it, though she could imagine her and Sam growing up and old together, and she made a face down into her drink.

"Are you even listening to me?" Sarah said, sounding amused, and Jess looked up quickly.

"Yeah, of course," she said, and mentally rewinded. "Oh, you said Jean came out last week?"

"That's it," Sarah said. "And did you hear about Rick?"

"Rick?" said Jess, searching her memory.

"You know," Sarah said, pitching her voice low, "Anita's ex," and Jess winced.

"You mean..."

"Yeah." Sarah leant in. "He's dead. Good riddance, right?"

Jess stared at her. "What? No," she said, and Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah," she said, "you're for the sanctity of the law and that - that's not the weird thing, though." She looked at Jess, expectant, and Jess waved her on. "Well, they're keeping it really hush-hush, I think they're going for suicide or a drunken accident, but Anita said she saw the whole thing - it's crazy weird," she added, a little quickly, "so she didn't want to tell the police."

"She's not going to, you know, get in trouble?"

"Oh, no," Sarah said, "apparently the questions were all toward, like, was he prone to bullying, who did he hang out with, stuff like that. No, but Anita said she saw him go over the edge of the bridge, you know, the one over the river?"

"He just fell off?" Jess asked, almost morbidly curious, and Sarah shook her head.

"That's where it gets weird. Anita saw - get this," she said, leaning forward, intent, "a giant kraken rising up and grabbing him off the bridge."

"A - what?"

"You know," Sarah said, "a giant squid-monster thing, like in Pirates of the Caribbean or something."

Jess stared at her. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, exactly. Like the police would believe that, right?"

"I don't know," said Jess, "are you - was she really sure?"

Sarah gave her a look that spoke for itself; Jess put her head in her hands with a sigh. "It's just..." she said, and Sarah's mouth twitched.

"Yeah, I know," she said. "But that's what happened. Freaky, huh?"

"Totally," Jess agreed, shaking her head in disbelief. "Wow." 

"Yeah," Sarah said, shaking her head. "Well, that's my ghost story of the day. What about you?" Jess gave her a curious look, and Sarah eyed her back. "You look like you're thinking deep thoughts."

Jess shook her head, her lips pressed together. "Nothing, really," she said, "just... what's that saying? Once is happenstance."

"Twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action? Did something else happen?"

"No," said Jess, slowly, and she looked down into her drink, swirling it in her hand. "No, I've just got a feeling." Ghost stories, impossibilities, who even knew? Her head was spinning, but she didn't think she was quite that drunk; not yet, at least. 

"Well," said Sarah, "feel up to the dance floor? You've been drinking that for ages."

Jess laughed, finishing her drink and setting it down. "Fine, fine," she said, "you've convinced me."

It was crowded there, full of college students with nothing better to do on a weekend night, but the alcohol gave Jess a levity that had her losing herself in the music, her heart pounding in time with the heavy bass. Laughing, Sarah dragged her into a risqué grind, her hands on Jess's hips as she winked at her on-and-off-again boyfriend across the floor, and Jess let her go when he came to take her, and they were lost in each other again. Jess had no doubt she'd be hearing of it, but now she was too hyped to care, the strobing lights and frantic music and warmth of people, people enjoying themselves and she could let loose, just for one night. She lost herself in it until her feet started aching, and she slowly maneuvered over to the edge of the crowd to pull off her shoes. 

A hand landed on her hip, too low and too far, and Jess spun to knock it away. "Hey," she said sharply, "watch it."

The guy it belonged to was tall - not quite Sam's height, but close, blonde and wide-shouldered, and he laughed as he raised his hands in the air. "Come on," he said, "what's it hurt?" and Jess felt suddenly fallen back to earth, terrible and grounded and disquieted.

"No thanks," she said, and pushed past him, pulling her wrist out of his grip as he tried to hold her back. She headed for the bar instead, away from the crowd and with a few familiar faces, and ordered a drink she downed at once. 

"Hey, Jess!"

It was Brady, and Jess was thankful for the familiar face even though she felt a little too tired to put up with him; when he was drunk he laughed a little too loudly, leaned a little too close, and didn't listen to a word she said. She found solace in another cocktail, as full of sugar as she could get, something she could hold between them as a barrier as he prattled on, stuck on moaning about his upcoming LSATs and describing last weeks' 'wild' party in too much detail, and she nodded though her smile was growing tight. He leaned in again for emphasis, close enough that she could smell the alcohol on his breath, and she took another step backward when someone stole the glass right out of her hand. "Hey!" she said, more out of reflex than anything, and when she turned to face him Gabriel winked at her over the rim.

"Mind if I steal you?" he said, as Brady frowned at him, and Jess said, a bit too enthusiastically, "Yeah, sure."

"Who's - " Brady started, but she'd already stepped away; Jess looked back and mouthed, "Sorry," to him, sure he couldn't hear her over the pounding music, and she turned to Gabriel and said, with fervor, "God, thank you."

"You looked like you needed a rescue," he said, sounding amused, and handed her back her drink. Jess downed it in a gulp and closed her eyes, bringing a hand up to rub at her temples.

"Ugh, yeah," she said, "I don't know, he's more Sam's friend than mine." She shot Brady a sneaky glance, and thankfully he'd already moved on, waving his hands as he chatted to a bunch of guys Jess vaguely knew. "Kind of a jerk, really."

"Really," Gabriel said, his voice turned slow and thoughtful, and Jess gave him a suspicious look.

"You're not planning anything," she said, half a question, and he laughed.

"Me?" he said, "no, of course not," and she smiled at the look on his face, attempting innocent.

"Well, you shouldn't," she said, shaking her head. "He's not really that bad, you know. Just, like, no sense of personal space? He's not, well, _that_ kind of jerk."

"And would they deserve it?"

"What?" Jess said, and frowned at him. "No. I mean..." She felt the strangest sense of déjà vu, like she'd had this conversation before, and she shook her head. The room felt a little off its axis, and she could feel her eyebrows pulling together. "Even so."

Gabriel gave her a look, almost bemused. "You're drunk," he said, like it was a revelation.

Shaking her head, Jess ran through her times tables, then got stuck and started her atomic table instead. "Not that drunk," she said, "tipsy..." and she waved a hand. "A bit, maybe."

"Hm," said Gabriel, like he didn't believe her, and she pouted at him.

"You don't believe me," she said, "and - anyway, you always show up at weird times, you know?"

"Your accent gets stronger," he said, instead of answering. "Where're you from?"

"Um," said Jess, a little blindsided, "Montana. You?"

Gabriel batted his eyes at her and it made her giggle, reaching out for a steady surface; he caught her hand instead. "Let me guess," Jess said, laughing, "it hurt when you fell?"

"Got it in one," Gabriel said, but he sounded more wry than amused. Jess felt the corners of her mouth pulling down, her mood somewhat dampened.

"What're you doing around here, anyway?" she asked, and then winced at herself. "I mean..."

"Can't a guy go drinking on his night off?" he said, flippant, and Jess shook her head.

"No, yeah, of course," she said, "but you're not. Drinking, I mean."

"I could be," Gabriel said, eyebrows raised, and Jess said, "No, I'm sorry. I mean, do you?"

His expression turned thoughtful, reminiscent. "I haven't for a while, but in the right company..."

"Then," said Jess, before she could think too hard about it, "save the date, let's do it."

"You," said Gabriel, sounding a little fond, "are just trying to get me drunk to spill all my secrets, aren't you?" and Jess laughed, ducking her head so she could look at him through her eyelashes.

"Oh, no," she teased, "you've discovered my secret motive, what'll I do?" He rolled his eyes at her, smiling, and she shrugged. "I feel like you know all of mine already, anyway. Maybe I want to even the score."

"You're not quite that transparent, sweetheart," he said, and she smiled.

"Glad to know," she said, "I wouldn't want to think I've gotten boring." Her mind was falling down the usual paths, and it came down a little more morose than she hoped; all she could think of was Sam, closing off from her again and again. "I..."

"Hey," Gabriel said, and linked her elbow in his. He was almost the right height, she thought, that she could rest her head on his; he gave her an amused look as he dragged her to the bar, a secluded spot down the opposite end. "Enough of that, I can't deal with you crying into my shoulder."

"I'm not," Jess protested around a disbelieving laugh, taking the nearby stool as Gabriel sat down on the next one, their knees brushing. Gabriel raised his eyebrows at her pointedly and she put her head in her hands and sighed. "Okay, maybe."

"Have a drink on me," Gabriel said, waving the bartender over, "and I'll tell you about this time I convinced a buddy of mine he had to get married to this asshole while in drag..."

* * *

It was a few hours later when Jess headed out of the bar, still smiling, to head on her way back home. Breathing in, she took a moment to let the cool air soak into her lungs, teetering slightly on her heels as she stepped down to the footpath. The walk back to her and Sam's apartment wasn't far, but she was already considering ditching the shoes and going barefoot by the time she stopped halfway, leaning against a lamppost and rubbing her ankle.

A wolf-whistle cut through the air, and Jess raised her eyebrows, her mouth pulling into a frown at the guy leaning on the bridge's railing, only a few meters away. He was the same guy who had harassed her earlier, now winding on his feet as he caught up to her; Jess wrapped her arms around herself and stepped a little faster. "Sorry, not interested," she said, keeping her tone even.

"Hey, girl, don't give me that," he said, stumbling a bit as he tried to catch up. He tripped and caught her arm, and Jess shrugged him off as he said, "I just want to chat."

"Sure," said Jess, "you know my boyfriend, right? Sam Winchester?"

His expression turned flat and ugly, and Jess wished she'd just asked Sam to come walk her home; despite everything, she wanted him there with her, to put a reassuring arm around her shoulder, to stare guys like this down until they walked away. Her own expression, however negative, only seemed encouragement to this guy, who put a too-familiar hand around her arm, grip tight enough Jess thought she might get bruises. "Oh," he said, "I know him. Let me tell you, a hot piece like you deserves something better than that fucking..."

Her hand in her clutch, holding onto the emergency can of pepper spray she kept, Jess only noticed his distraction when he trailed off, his death-grip on her arm loosening, then falling altogether. "Do you hear that?" he asked, his voice distant and dreamy, staring back to the river, and Jess felt a chill run down her spine.

"Hear what?" she said, her voice slow and careful, because all she could hear were the normal sounds of the night, insects and rushing water - rushing, splashing water - and his slow, steady footsteps away. "What're you doing?" She stepped after him, reaching out, but he shoved her away with a violent push that made her stumble, her knees protesting, and Jess bit her tongue and stopped.

"Can't you hear her?" he said. He sounded amazed, starstruck in a way Jess couldn't really comprehend, like there was something out there except for the dark flowing river. "She's... beautiful." Jess stared back at him, the strange blankness of his gaze, and she was about to just leave and call security when the river seemed to bubble, ripples growing into something larger, something almost person-shaped -

A head surfaced, covered in long strands of ichor dark as the night, its gaunt features gleaming pale under the starlight, and Jess's heart was pounding in her ears as it called, the sound near a shriek that made her ears ache, pitched too wrong; the man on the beach stepped forward, his face a rictus of delight. His foot touched the water and a pale, clawed hand reached for his ankle - and then, in an instant, he was gone.

Jess stumbled forward, her legs moving without input from her brain, but the water was dark, the reflections blurred from the flow of the river, running smoothly downstream, and she stood there for a long moment, staring at the half-light fragments of the streetlamps. "What," she whispered to herself, and picked up a stone on the side, tossing it in - but nothing happened, like nothing had, like it was all just a strange hallucination or a dream. She wrapped her arms around herself and realized she was shaking.

Taking a few slow, deep breaths, Jess kept a count running in her head and started slowly, shakily walking away. She wasn't sure where she was going but her feet did the work for her, the well-worn path back to her and Sam's apartment; she didn't bother knocking as she leaned against the doorframe and pulled off her shoes, the solid wooden door a reassurance against her back. There wasn't anything she was sure of anymore, not with the grit of something like sand under her bare feet as she stepped inside; Jess's heart was beating loud in her ears, and she felt her legs give out under her as she sat down on the doormat, the door still ajar, to brush off her feet.

It wasn't sand, the thin line across the doorway glittering in the lights from other apartments, but salt, and Jess barely felt like getting up, not with - not with what she had seen. She knew she would have to, that she could no longer pretend there wasn't something too strange for words going on in her life, that whatever it was, she would have to figure it out. She closed her eyes and hugged her knees to her chest, which was when she heard a noise from inside.

"Who's there?" Sam's voice came around the corner, and Jess looked up to see the shadow of him against the kitchen, silhouetted against the light from the far hallway. Jess slowly picked herself up off the carpet, shoes in hand, and said, "Hey."

He stopped, a few feet away, still a blur in her vision, and put down - was that a gun? "Jess?"

Jess made a face, though she knew he probably couldn't see it, and said, "Is that seriously a gun?"

"You didn't knock," he said, with a touch of reproach, "or turn on the lights."

"Still," Jess said, because they lived in a college town in California, and despite everything, despite tonight, she wasn't sure a gun would be any help at all. "I'm just tired," she said, after a moment, not wanting to linger on it; she couldn't see Sam's expression but for the glint of his eyes in the dark, but she didn't want to.

"Did something happen?" Sam asked, and Jess looked down at the mat on the floor, her feet, brushed clean of the salt that lined the doorway, and to the shotgun Sam was holding balanced against the floor.

"Nothing important," she said, and met his gaze, not quite managing a smile. "A few jerks ruined my mood, that's all."

Sam's stare was heavy as she walked by him to go back to their room, but she didn't have the energy or the inclination to explain; he'd been keeping enough secrets from her, she thought, that it was about time she did some secret-keeping and research of her own.

* * *

It was a sunny mid-afternoon after her classes when Jess found the chance to grab a computer in the library, one in an alcove a little displaced from the main populated areas. She wasn't sure what to start with, but Stanford's student news had suspiciously little on the recent disappearances and deaths. Looking for sea monsters got hour tales and myths, but searching for strange deaths across the country turned up what might tentatively be called a pattern.

Jess's eyebrows furrowed as she added in the salt around the windows and doors, and scrolled through results until she found something that treated the apparent answer of ghosts as more than a ghost story, a small private forum with a few instructional posts. Mermaids and kraken turned up little, selkies a little more, but it wasn't until she made an account with an old forgotten email of hers to access the on-site search that she stumbled across something that rang warning bells in her head.

 _Tricksters_ , the page said, _destructive 'tricks' designed to humble the self-important_ , with a note added below, by another user: _most easily recognized by their sense of so-called 'justice', ironic judgments to people who deserve it._ It didn't quite fit, but Jess thought it reminded her of something, the echoing parallels across religions. Her parents were practically lapsed, going to church once a year, but Jess remembered her grandmother from years ago, teaching her her Hail Mary's, reading passages from the Bible after supper. Even now Jess kept her rosary as a reminder of her, and she pursed her mouth and stared at the screen for a moment longer as a foundling suspicion started to root in her mind; she'd have to think on it, she decided, and closed the browser.

It was just in time, too. "Shutting off as soon as someone comes to look over your shoulder?" Gabriel asked, peering around the bench to her computer screen, just the desktop with some of her assignments, and Jess felt her mouth twitch with a quiet sense of triumph at the sharpness in his gaze. "How suspicious of you."

"I don't know," said Jess, "you could've just arrived at the wrong time." She logged off, swinging her chair around as she grabbed her bag. "Are you on the clock?"

"Nah," said Gabriel, "not at the moment." He raised his eyebrows at her. "You don't have class?"

"Not anymore," Jess said, biting down the edge on her smile. "So, you're free?"

"I can be for you," Gabriel said, with an exaggeratedly flirtatious edge, and Jess met his gaze, gold-edged and piercing, and didn't bother hiding the mischievousness of her smile.

"Well," she said, "that's great, because I'm pretty sure I owe you a few drinks."

"Trying to take advantage already?" Gabriel said, amused, and Jess laughed and caught his arm in hers. He fell into step beside her, an easy stroll, and said, "Did you have a place in mind?"

"What, you're telling me there's more than one bar near campus?" Jess joked, teasingly light, and Gabriel gave her a look from under raised eyebrows, his grin sly.

"Actually, I know a place," he said, "a little off the beaten track, so to speak." 

"Well, as long as you're not planning on heading all the way to Vegas," Jess said, smiling, and Gabriel laughed.

"Isn't that an idea," he said, and sighed dramatically. "Not today, I'm afraid." Taking the lead as they headed out of the Stanford campus, he guided her down a few smaller streets, to a quieter back road, lights starting to flicker on, the buzz of them a hum against the background noise of cars and people. "Today's just here," Gabriel said with a flourish, and opened the door to the quiet little bar that Jess thought she might have seen, once or twice before.

"Not really a popular hangout," Jess said, as she slid into a seat in the corner. The lights were dim, casting shadows across Gabriel's pointed, curious look.

"Didn't you want all my secrets, sweetheart?" he said, his tone more amused than anything, but Jess felt the bite behind his words and looked away, biting her lip.

"I didn't mean it like that," she said, because she hadn't, at least not then, and even now she still - "I just wanted to know more about you, that's all."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, but his smile was fond. "Well in that case," he said, wryly, and Jess found her smile lifting to match his. "I think you owe me a drink."

Four rounds later, Jess was feeling a warm, pleasant buzz as she giggled, half-outraged as she said, "You didn't?"

"I did," Gabriel said; he had grown expansive and gregarious, a slight flush to his cheeks that made Jess wonder how often he did this, letting loose and lowering his guard. "Not much," he said, as though reading her expression, "but it's fun."

"Well," said Jess, feeling pushed a little off track, "still, jerking people around like that - "

"Jerking around _jerks_ ," he said pointedly, and Jess shook her head, her hair falling loose around her face, and she reached up to push it back restlessly.

"No," she said, "even so, it's just - it's so old-fashioned, isn't it?" She looked up, frowning; Gabriel's eyebrows were raised in question. "An eye for an eye, someone steals so you cut off their hand - it doesn't make anything better, just..."

"Not even a little bit?" he said, almost a whine, and Jess laughed a little, shaking her head.

"I don't know," she said, "but in the end, it doesn't really change anything, does it? We've got the legal system, rehab and prison and stuff, for a reason, right?"

"When it works," Gabriel said, and Jess raised her eyebrows at him and sighed.

"Yeah, I guess so," she said, "but going around it doesn't help." She wrinkled her nose, thinking back to that slow eating terror in her gut, the realization that there was nothing she could do, even if she wanted to, that even an asshole who'd never get written up for anything he did shouldn't just be - 

"Okay, okay," Gabriel said, a little too loudly, and Jess felt the shiver creeping down her spine recede as she came back to herself; Gabriel was looking mulish but resigned, and she wondered - and stopped herself. "I'm always being guilt-tripped into being nice."

"Always?" Jess asked, and he rolled his eyes.

"Too often," he said, "Any time, you name it - after sex is the worst," he added, conversational, and Jess choked on a laugh.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Gabriel sighed, a touch dramatically. "It was less of a relationship than a series of one night stands, but he'd get so hot and bothered I just couldn't help myself, and then afterwards? He didn't even say anything, but he was thinking it. Loudly."

"What," Jess said, amused, "he'd just look at you?"

"It was a meaningful look!" Gabriel defended, but he was smiling, slightly wry. "Meaningful and guilt-tripping."

Jess, almost involuntarily, was reminded of the last few weeks with Sam; she'd been pressing him for answers but he would never give in, only look at her sadly, until she almost felt guilty for asking. "I think I know what you mean," she said, and Gabriel laughed.

"Yeah, that's the one," he said. "He's a catch until he's a hot mess, but then out come the puppy-eyes, and..."

"Stop, stop," Jess said, laughing. "TMI, I think." Gabriel batted his eyelashes at her and she gave him a stern look, as far as she could manage. "You actually really liked him, didn't you?"

Gabriel's expression turned thoughtful, wistful. "I could have," he said, slowly, "but, too much baggage. I was kind of an asshole, he was kind of an idiot. It never got there, in the end. Hey," he added, "don't waste it."

"You mean," Jess said, and thought about Sam, their relationship slowly cracking apart at the seams; the way she still felt a quiet ache in her heart whenever she saw his face, a rush of love turned wistful and longing, and met Gabriel's gaze; his eyes were a piercing gold.

Gabriel huffed a laugh and looked away. "Yeah," he said. "Don't lose it."

* * *

There was a foreboding sense of inevitability to her conversations with Sam now. At odds, with secrets within secrets, Jess didn't know if Sam even thought she was buying anything he tried to explain away, or if he just wanted her to hold on - for another week, a month, a year. There must have been something he was working toward, she knew, or he wouldn't keep up the pretense, but it didn't make her feel any better about the lies.

"Seriously, Sam," she pleaded, and he looked at her, resignation in the sag of his shoulders and the frown building between his eyebrows.

"I'm sorry," he said, "Jess, I swear I'll let you know once this is sorted, okay? It's - it's family business, you know."

"Family business," she repeated, and she felt her mouth twist. Raising her eyes to his, she held his gaze for a moment, eyebrows raised, and said, "I'll hold you to that."

Something flitted across his face, something tired and sad. "Yeah," he said, "I know." He turned to go, one hand on the doorknob, but there he paused and looked back. "I love you."

Jess found herself smiling, a little wryly. "Yeah, me too," she called back, and turned back to her coffee until she heard the door click shut. She stood there absently stirring her cup for another minute, just to make sure he was gone, before she left it there on the counter and headed to the spare room - to the box hidden under the slow accumulation of stuff that Sam probably thought she didn't know existed. Jess had always left it alone, figuring he deserved to keep some secrets, but now she was almost certain it held answers to whatever was going on, whatever was happening that had Sam stepping on eggshells around her, that had him skipping class, leaving to go who-knew-where.

The last time she'd opened this door, Sam had shoved the box closed, had distracted her away from it though it had been sitting right there. Now, it was under a few other boxes; Jess peered into each one, taking a mental note of what they should be throwing away as she shifted them to the side. Sam's box was more of a trunk than a box, really, made of leather and worn to softness, gold-plated brass flaking away. Jess dragged it out, straining a little with the effort, and opened the lid.

"Holy shit," she breathed out. It was full of weapons, knives and guns and - was that a sword? She felt along the hilt of one, at the shiny silver blade, and the next of some strange iridescent metal. The bullets were strange too, pellets of what looked like salt, silver and iron, and Jess's mind went again to the salt around the windows, to the symbols under the edge of their welcome mat. She thought of her frustrated internet searches, of the newspapers Sam had strewn across the table, and when she looked down she realized she was running her fingers along the flat of a blade, the beautiful shining one which felt warm under her fingertips. Jess felt way out of her depth, but she fumbled the knife back into its sheath, setting it aside. Below the weapons were things even stranger, small worn bones and a flask of what smelled like stale water, books in Latin and even more obscure, and at the bottom, as though forgotten, a black DVD case with a name scrawled across it. Jess opened it, running her fingers across the ink, her mind shying away from the questions percolating, from the slow click of things sliding into place. She'd thought the box would answer her questions, but all it did was make them worse. She didn't want to think about it, but she knew what she had to do.

* * *

Jess was half-way to convincing herself this whole thing was a terrible idea when Gabriel plucked her cocktail - bright, fruity and full of sugar - out from under her, taking a long drink and handing it back with a wink as he slid into the seat across from her. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Gabriel," she said, and swallowed back the rush of accusations, recriminations that wanted to come out. She studied him instead, the curve of his generous mouth, the distracted messiness of his hair, the unearthly glint of gold in his eyes in the dim light. She wondered if she could hurt him, if he could be hurt. Maybe he would let her, let her push him back against the bar and bite bruises into his skin, let her tighten her hands around his wrists while she tried - 

"Jess?" he said, his tone curious, and there was something odd in his voice that made her mouth quirk.

"Yeah," she said, "well. It's hard to say." She reached for her bag and pulled it onto her lap, fiddling with the clasp. "I know there's something wrong," she said, slowly, peering at him from under her eyelashes, "with you, with Sam, with," and she gestured. "All of this. Something's up, and I want you to tell me what."

Gabriel's eyebrows had risen to near his hairline. "What?" he said, and Jess hissed out a breath, annoyed.

"Look, don't play ignorant - I know you know what's going on. Please," she said, "don't."

Gabriel met her eyes, then looked away. "Look, sweetheart, maybe you think you've got some idea, but - "

"No," she said, as she reached into her bag, her fingers curling into a fist, and her voice came out firmer than she thought it would. "No, you don't get to just - brush it off. I'm a part of this, through Sam, through - through you too, whatever this is, magic or monsters under the bed - "

"Jess," said Gabriel, leaning forward, an intent look on his face, "trust me. You don't want to get involved. This'll blow over soon enough."

Jess's heart was pounding through her ears, a racing thump-thump-thump as she stared into his eyes, gold and strange, and before she could think about it she pulled out the knife in her bag. "No," she said, and her voice was shaking though her hand was steady above the gleam of metal in the light. Gabriel's expression flickered - shock, fear, calculation. "You think I'm not already? I know who you are," she said, and she could hear the rising hysteria in her voice, feel it in her aching chest. "Gabriel, angel of justice? You killed them, didn't you?"

Gabriel's eyes were fixed on the knife, his eyebrows pulled together. "Yeah," he said, and he was probably aiming for flippant but she could hear the strain in his voice. "You'll have to be more specific."

"Rick, Tom," she said, and shook her head. "Maybe they were terrible people but an eye for an eye isn't a thing, all it does is - "

"Make the whole world go blind, yeah, yeah," Gabriel said, his gaze flicking back to Jess's. "I stopped, didn't I?"

"Gave you away," Jess said, with a choked laugh. "I say comeuppance isn't worth anything if they're dead and then no one else is - why?" she said, her voice intent, her hands shaking. "Why me, why Sam - what's going on?"

"You're cute," Gabriel said, with a quirk of his mouth, eyes narrowed. "No, what I want to know is, where did you get that blade?"

"No, you tell me," she said, "what the _fuck_ is going on," and she could feel a pain rising in her throat, her lungs burning like she'd run a mile. "Why are you here? What does all of this have to do with me - with Sam?"

Something came over Gabriel's face, something she thought was almost pity. He said, "You haven't talked to him, have you?" and Jess bit her lip, ignoring the stinging of her eyes.

"He won't say anything, nothing at all," and she felt the sob rise up in her throat as her grip wavered; Gabriel reached out, almost tentative, and she watched him take the knife from her hands as though from a long distance away. He put it aside and clasped her hands in his, delicate fingers against her palms, and she swallowed. "It's family business this, 'I need to study for my LSATs' that - I called Dean, you know, and he hasn't heard from Sam in two months. Brady's in pre-law too - I just... I don't know why he won't talk to me."

"Sweetheart," said Gabriel, a little soft, a little self-depreciating, "he's a Winchester, I think they're allergic to it."

Jess smiled at him, blinking the dampness from her eyes. "And then there's you."

"Hey," said Gabriel, and Jess knew her expression was disbelieving. He sighed, running a hand over his face, before fixing her with a look. "I... I don't really know the half of it," he said, slow and deliberate. "Sam's got something of mine, you see - it gave me a bit of a surprise when he showed up."

"The DVD?" Jess asked, and Gabriel chuckled, shaking his head.

"A bit of a joke at their expense - Sam and Dean's," he clarified. "But yeah. I put a tiny bit of myself in there, just in case, and here we are."

"Where you are," Jess said, and she couldn't voice the possibility of it, the idea seeming ludicrous despite everything; Gabriel took pity on her and shrugged.

"Back in time," he said. "Well, for me it's a little more complicated than that, space-time being what it is, but for Sam's? That's about the whole of it, from what I can tell."

"Time," Jess said, a little faintly, and Gabriel heaved a sigh.

"Look," he said, "enough's changed now that I'm fairly sure that future'll never come to pass. The future's tricky, you know, but the past... it's not so bad. The bit of me that came back - what I remember from then..."

"That's why you're here, right?" Jess said, and she realized her fingers were clenched so tight she could feel her muscles straining against Gabriel's skin; she took a deep breath and tried to relax. "Because of Sam. You and Sam."

"Me and Sam," Gabriel said, with a bit of a grimace, and Jess gave him a half-smile that made his mouth twitch. "Yeah, you know. Complicated wasn't the half of it. But in that future, I'd changed, I'd become - more myself, I guess. I wanted to take a peek in and see what might have been why."

"And me?" Jess asked, and Gabriel squeezed her hands reassuringly.

"Nothing weird," he said, wryly. "Sam was still so hung up over you, you know. What'd it been, like three years? I don't think he'd ever forget you. And," he added, looking at her thoughtfully, "I think I can see why."

Jess felt her face warm and she ducked her head, unable to stop her slightly embarrassed smile. "Thanks, I think," she said, and Gabriel gave her a sly look from under his eyelashes.

"So," he said, quiet and play-secretive, "Sam's got no idea, right? What d'you say we stir things up a little for him?"

Jess rolled her eyes, but she was smiling despite herself. "You're terrible," she said, and Gabriel raised her hand to his mouth and pressed a feather-light kiss to the back of it, waggling his eyebrows at the flourish with a playfulness that made her have to bite back her laugh.

"Come on," he said, "you know you want to," and Jess sighed and felt herself relent at his teasing, mischievous look.

"Well," she said, "Sam does think I'm out for the rest of the day..."

* * *

Jess's stomach was still doing odd flips as she fiddled with her pen, clicking it in and out. Gabriel finished the sigil he was sketching in cocoa powder on the counter, saying, "And this you should probably know - hey."

She startled a little, and said, "Yeah?" but she knew she was still feeling odd; she had thought she had known everything, but it really was only the tip of the iceberg. Even Gabriel's method of transportation - her eyes closed, the feeling in her chest like she'd just stepped into a fast elevator without her notice - made her breath catch in her chest, and not in the good way.

"It's okay," Gabriel said, sounding compassionate; his gaze was thoughtful as he studied her. "You don't need to learn everything at once."

"Still," Jess said, and took a breath, letting it out slowly. "I should, right?"

"There's time," Gabriel said, "or, there should be." He frowned toward the entrance hallway, his eyebrows furrowing, and Jess turned to look as he said, "I think Sammy brought a friend."

"A friend?" Jess asked, as the door opened, sending a draft of air and sound into the apartment. She could hear Sam's voice from here; "- haven't been around here in months, have you?"

"Yeah, I guess not," said another voice, and it took Jess a moment to place it as Brady. "You haven't been out much recently, though, either - " and his voice cut off, choked. "What?"

Jess had stood up without knowing; Gabriel laid a hand on her arm as she met his gaze and Sam's voice came through the hall, harsh and biting: "You think I didn't know? Fuck you, _Brady_ ," and the sound of metal against leather - 

"What - ?" Jess stepped forward, heedless, her mind spinning and she stepped into view to see Brady's face, twisted with disgust and something dark and ugly until he spotted her and choked out, "Jess?"

"Jess?" Sam turned, and the confusion writ across his face as he saw her turned stunned, then terrified and angry; Jess realized then the warm weight by her side was Gabriel, chewing on a chocolate bar, his gaze sharp but not unkind as her gave her a slight, sideways smile.

"Isn't this a party?"

"Gabriel," Sam said, his voice chopped and furious, and took a step toward them, fists clenched. "Was this you? Is this some sort of - some fucking idea of a - "

"Hey, hey," Gabriel said, entirely at ease, "I've got nothing to do with it, looks like Dad's fingerprints all over," but Sam looked like he was barely paying attention as he pushed Gabriel up against the wall.

"You asshole - undo it," Sam hissed, and Jess saw the curl of Gabriel's smile over Sam's shoulder and squeezed her eyes shut as she sighed.

"Sam," she said, "be reasonable," and raised her eyebrows at Gabriel, who was plastering on his most innocent expression. "And you."

"Yeah," piped up Brady, from the trap in the doorway, "be reasonable," and Jess watched Sam's expression transition from angry to confused to utterly and completely lost, and Gabriel seemed to see the same thing as he heaved a sigh and snapped his fingers. Sam rounded on him again but Jess coughed into her fist and gestured; Brady had dropped to the floor, boneless, like a puppet without strings.

Sam looked between them: Brady on the floor, Jess standing there, Gabriel, brushing down his clothing as he straightened, and said, a little shakily, "What the hell is going on?"

She'd thought she had an argument ready - really, she'd planned it all out, them yelling at each other until the air cleared, but now, after everything, Jess couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead, she said, "I know."

"You - " Sam looked at her, confusion to a slow growing despair, and Jess felt a quiet sound rise in her throat as she stepped forward and said, "No, no, it's okay."

"It's okay?" Sam said, disbelieving. "All that I did - everything that's happened... Jess, I - "

"It's okay," she said, more firmly this time. "We'll sort it out. The three of us," she added pointedly, tugging on Gabriel's sleeve as he half-heartedly started slinking away, but his expression melted to an amused fondness as she gave him a smile. 

"If you'll have me," he said, with an airy lightness, and Sam scowled mulishly at him; Gabriel met his gaze with eyebrows raised. There was almost a whole conversation Jess felt like she wasn't privy to there, between the beats of her heart and the breath in her lungs, but she thought it was okay as Sam's frown melted and she could see the look in his eyes, an almost exact copy of the way he looked at her.

Gabriel's gaze flicked to her almost in surprise, and Jess didn't bother hiding her smile; a little knowing, a little pleased. "Come on," she said, and hooked her elbows in with both of theirs'. "Let's do it. We'll sort this whole thing out."

"It's not that easy," Sam grumbled, petulant, but Jess bumped him with her elbow and he sighed. "Okay, okay."

"Yeah?" Jess said, and gave Gabriel a look; he rolled his eyes and bumped her back.

"Yeah," he said, and reached up to brush back Jess’s hair from her shoulder; her breath caught in her throat as he leaned forward to press an air-light kiss to the curve of her neck but Gabriel only had eyes for Sam, who was watching him with a breathless intensity. Something passed between them and Jess pursed her lips, amused despite herself as she tugged Sam down to press her lips to his in a brief, chaste kiss.

"Come on," she said. "We’ve got a future to change."


End file.
